Above are two men, standing in front of black doors. One of them is George Osborne – who is famous for only having a Plan A. The other is Ben Drew – who is famous for being Plan B.
But which plan is working out best?
Well, Plan A, characterised by dogged inflexibility and ideology, has resulted in soaring unemployment, one of the most disastrous Budgets in political history, public services being brutally cut and a general feeling of despair and depression throughout the land. But that’s okay, because it has slashed the deficit and the private sector has rushed in to fill the gap left by the devastated public sector, restoring us to such economic growth that the world looks on in speechless envy. Oh, hang on – what’s that you say? UK in worst double dip economy in 50 years? Construction output dropped by 5.2% between the first and second quarters of 2012, with industrial production falling by 1.3% and service sector output by 0.1%? Ah.
Plan B on the other hand has proven himself astonishingly versatile and flexible. He first gained respect and credibility as a white London rapper with his brilliant debut album, before unveiling a gorgeous soul croon on the hugely successful “Strickland Banks” concept album. It turned out that all of that was only preparing the ground for his all out assault on the country’s conscience with the furious protest song “Ill Manors”, backed by the well received film and wildly anticipated album of the same name. Go here for one of the most brilliant, incendiary TV performances in recent pop history and see if you think he’s pulled it off.
So, we’ve fed the facts into the computer and have come up with the following verdict: Plan B wins!
Apologies to a) non UK readers, to whom this will probably not mean much, b) fans of “like for like” comparisons, who may find flaws in our methodology and c) fans of lovely graphics – our in-house designer was sick today.