Pop Advent Calendar Day 8: Stick this on your mantelpiece

Welcome to Day 8 of our pop culture advent calendar. Every day we’re handing out a little treat in the shape of an award or recognition of something big or small in pop which has made 2012 a better place for all of us . Yesterday it was missing in action pop genius. Today we’re fulfilling that heavy obligation and handing out our Christmas Card. Of Sorts. There’s a little bit of an introduction here.

Christmas cards are an obligation and a balancing act. Nobody wants an essay about your past year; nobody wants a cursory scrawl with a kiss kiss tail. Do you get the bulk buy pack from the pound shop or the tasteful charity number which is thrice the price?  Yesterday, Pop Lifer was given some assistance into solving this seasonal conundrum.  Ed Miliband provided us with an example of what NOT to send. We will not impose the image on these pages (his children are involved and there is no need to spread the pain). However if you crave a-little-sick-in-the-mouth-cloying-self-aggrandizing-sentimentality, look no further than our Deputy Prime Minister, our Dad’s Army last line of defence against a rampant Tory government.

Politicians Christmas cards

Pop Lifer used to enjoy ginger bread men. No more.

Pop Lifer has found a perfect solution. A 21st century solution. A Christmas Card via YouTube and one of our finest sitcoms…

Pop Lifer’s 2012 Christmas Card is from…..

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Pop Advent Calendar Day 7: The Sundays Award For Most Impatiently Awaited Pop Comeback

Welcome to Day 7 of our pop culture advent calendar. Every day we’re handing out a little treat in the shape of an award or recognition of something big or small in pop which has made 2012 a better place for all of us . Yesterday it was beards. Today we’re talking Missing In Action pop bands. There’s a little bit of an introduction here.

Given that we were genetically bred to be a positive, upbeat blog, we have tried hard not to harp on about what a dreadful year 2012 has been for pop music. Yes, Lana Del Rey began the year in style with her utterly intoxicating “Born To Die” single and only slightly less intoxicating album, but there has been precious little to celebrate since, with the exception of the gratifying rise of Frank Ocean. For the most part, the charts have been a dispiriting wasteland of generically grinding autopop, all production pomp and no melodic circumstance.

David Gavurin and Harriet Wheeler of The Sundays

David Gavurin and Harriet Wheeler of The Sundays

But instead of focusing our anger on those who have made 2012 so difficult to listen to, we choose instead to mourn those bands who have been absent and could have saved us from our misery. Please note – this is not about bands reforming, which we did a couple of days back, but bands or singers who are still theoretically “active” but simply not releasing any new music.

A few years ago this award would automatically have been named the Kate Bush award in “honour” of her long and frustrating leave of absence from the pop scene. But since 2011 – when Bush practically became Rihanna in her spewing out of new material – this award must be named after The Sundays, one of the UK’s loveliest and now longest absent of all bands.

Now isn’t the time for a full history lesson on The Sundays, though we will be returning to them one day in the future, quite possibly demanding a full public enquiry into their absence (well, if there’s one thing our Conservative Government seem generous with, its public enquiries). For now, what you need to know is that they released three albums in the 1990s, one of them being one of the ten perfect albums ever made, “Reading, Writing and Arithmetic”. They also wrote one of the ten greatest songs of all time, “Goodbye”, and were rather successful in an understated sort of way, even winning riches and fame in America, largely thanks to a sublime cover of the Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses” (this remains the greatest version of this song in existence). And then their architects – singer Harriet Wheeler and guitarist David Gavurin – decided to concentrate on raising a family. Their last album was released 15 years ago.

We could break down right now weeping at all the beautiful music that the band could have made during that time. We could rage against their hard-hearted selfishness in choosing those brat children over us. But instead let’s focus on a rather more recent pop act who have also been quiet and who we need back in our lives right NOW. That’s right, we’re talking about…

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Pop advent calendar day 6: The Martin Scorcese Award for Best Beard

Welcome to Day 6 of our pop culture advent calendar. Every day we’re handing out a little treat in the shape of an award or recognition of something big or small in pop which has made 2012 a better place for all of us . Today it’s beards. Yesterday it was comic genius. There’s a little bit of an introduction here.

Beards divide opinions not just faces. The ruffle stubble, the coiffured goatee, the Craig David set square, the full on hostage classic.  For those who wear them, beards are a clear statement. For those who don’t, they beg questions.

People are naturally suspicious of beards. They are frequently and famously used as a disguise. A beard is of course now accepted parlance for a gay person’s public partner of the opposite sex. Less obliquely, spies, magicians and assassins have all used beards to cover a truth or as a means of diversion. More sinisterly, there is the infamous big white beard which was used to protect the true identity of a sea captain, with a suspiciously young complexion, that took to the high sea with a crew of boys to peddle fish fingers.

Beards are inherently something to be wary off. A means of cover or deceit. No more. The need for gay ‘beards’ is becoming more obsolete and advertising types tend to avoid the whole Pied Piper angle to ship frozen fish. Instead beardy beards have become a choice, one tool of the male make over. As a result we are drowning  in facial hair – some good, some bad, some woeful. This award is dedicated to one the best beards ever, Martin Scorcese’s late 70’s vintage,  which is a classic of unapologetic even and thick growth..

Martin Scorcese executing the beard.

Martin Scorcese executing the beard.

The Martin Scorcese Award for 2012’s Best Beard goes to…

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Pop advent calendar day 5 – Chris Morris Award For Most Sorely Missed Comic Genius

Welcome to Day 5 of our pop culture advent calendar. Every day we’re handing out a little treat in the shape of an award or recognition of something big or small in pop which has made 2012 a better place for all of us . There’s a little bit of an introduction here.

Day 5 marks one of our more melancholy awards – The Chris Morris Award For Most Sorely Missed Comic Genius. Obviously we don’t mean missed in the “dearly departed” sense, merely in the sense of actively contributing to the gaiety of the nations. It’s been a long while since Morris has brought his lethal, volcanic presence to our TV’s screens, though he did of course write and direct the scabrous “Four Lions”. At Pop Lifer, we miss him, and have said so at length.

Courtesy of Cook'd and Bomb'd (and The Mirror we suppose)

Courtesy of Cook’d and Bomb’d (and The Mirror we suppose)

But we’re feeling the absence of another comic genius even more keenly, and that would be….

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Day 4 of our Award Advent Calendar: The Take That Award for Least Damaging Comeback

Apparently One Direction work to a meticulous contract. This may not come as a surprise to many but the detail is an exercise in soul hollowing marketing. In a year of two, expect seducer of his best friend’s mums Harry Styles to go solo. In three or four years, expect a drop off in interest once Harry decides to have a Grade 2. In 7 years time, expect a reunion. Expect it. Put it in your diary because it is written.

Such a clause is the responsibility of Her Majesty the Queen’s song writing teddy bear, Gary Barlow. The Take That Comeback of the mid-Naughties exceeded their original mid-Nineties burst and as a result we now have the Take That Tick as a business plan template for your set piece boy/girl band. In honour of this now dubious tradition, Pop Lifer has, with a £6 watered down Fosters in hand, decided to give an award to where this neat trick has been pulled off with the least amount of dignity lost.

The Take That Tick Award for Least Damaging Comeback goes to…..

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Day 3 of our pop culture advent calendar: open up for our Beethoven Award for Most Beautiful Love Letter

Welcome to Day 3 of our pop culture advent calendar. Every day we’ll be handing out a little treat in the shape of an award or recognition of something big or small in pop which has made 2012 a better place for all of us . On day 1 we gave the Lady GaGa Award for Turning The Pop Video Into Glorious Art to Lana Del Rey’s magnificent “National Anthem”. Day 2 saw us hand The In-betweeners  Award for a Sitcom You Can’t Quite Believe Hasn’t Been Made Before to the brilliant “Fresh Meat”.

Day 3 sees us turn to the fading art of the love letter, which has always played a major role in the history of pop culture. After all, what were Shakespeare’s sonnets if not love letters, to his famed “dark lady” (or boy, if you prefer to pursue that particular theory)? A good 90% of pop songs are love letters, though the majority of them are so banal they would be dumped in the bin by any recipient with a few brain cells to rub together.

Beethoven's Love Letter to his "Immortal Beloved"

Beethoven’s Love Letter to his “Immortal Beloved”

But it’s the personal love letters – the ones addressed by real people to true loves – that tend to have the most impact on us, that move us most deeply. Think of Napoleon’s rhapsodies to Josephine, Byron’s to Lady Caroline or even Ronald Reagan’s to Nancy. Perhaps most famous of all – and the one for which this award is named – was Beethoven’s love letter to his anonymous “Immortal Beloved” (handwritten text above) which ends – exquisitely – “Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours”. (Our thanks to the ever enriching website Letters Of Note, from whom we borrowed image and text).

All of these are historical examples, but one love letter this year has had a similar impact on us. And so we’d like to thank from the bottom of our hearts the writer of  2012’s most beautiful public love letter… Continue reading

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